Practising togetherness:
spaces to connect

Once we understood that learning was the work, we were able to look in the rear view mirror and see that we had been expecting the answers to be ‘out there’ (what do we as a group do about inequalities?), when in fact they were ‘in here’ (this space has been and is the work, and it has changed how we behave in the world in our own work).

To quote another of Myron’s Maxims: the people who do the work do the change. HCT wasn’t about making the change, it was about being the change. We learnt that the practice of seeing each other regularly, holding a space for questions and answers, learning and unlearning, discomfort and enquiry, was unusual in system life.  

It was a gift we were uncertain we deserved, but we had learnt nonetheless that the time commitment was a price worth paying for stronger relational fabric in daily collaborative systems life and work. Why? Simply that better conversations lead to better thinking, understanding and decisions, which lead to better action and outcomes.

The systemic learning for health equality is, of course, that not paying attention to humanity is - by definition - dehumanising, and no movement towards social justice will ever take root and thrive from that place. If we can’t practise togetherness, how can we hope to change the systems that seek to make the changes?

So how do we practise togetherness? Here’s what we’ve learned:

It’s personal - it’s about an opportunity to connect as human beings, beyond organisational roles and agendas. It allows people to understand each other’s experiences at a deeper level. It can be uncomfortable and vulnerable, and also full of joy, warmth and deep connection. It’s also experiential - you can’t learn it from a slide, a publication or website. You have to try it for yourself and see what works for you.

Relationships are the work - and this work is undervalued in lots of the systems we’re part of, compared to more recognisable projects and outputs. But creating intentional spaces for relationship-building has profound effects on those systems through how we show up in our day-to-day work.

It needs structure - we call this our ‘structures of togetherness’: an intentional and mindful practice of creating and nurturing non-agenda driven spaces where the learning is the work. They enable us to test our thinking and draw on the ideas of insights of different people, enabling new ideas to emerge and work to happen differently in our day-to-day. In our case that also included convening, a role we understand as different to facilitation or chairing, which supports the group to use tools like check-in and re-storying, and is explored in depth in the next section. Regularity has also been important, a rhythm that turns a new practice into a habit. For us that was an hour online every week over four years, plus one day face-to-face a month, but it could show up in much smaller ways in people’s lives and work.

It takes time and practise - building relationships is time-consuming and needs long-term commitment to build trust, for ideas to breathe, for situations to play out and be reflected on. That has enabled people to practise the skills of unknowing, discomfort, holding back from action, and both/and rather than either/or thinking. We recognise that having the autonomy to commit that time is a privilege, and time is a commodity that many frontline organisations don’t have right now, so it affects who can take part. We need to intentionally create this opportunity for others - this became a driving force behind HCT co-lab.

Spaces aren’t neutral - there are power dynamics at play in every gathering. For relational spaces to be equitable and nourishing, careful and intentional inclusion of diversity of experience, background and sector is vital. Having a combination of statutory and voluntary sector folks in the group was central to making this practice work - over time we were able to see things from each other’s point of view without having to argue for or defend our own, and see more of the bigger system-wide picture, both its challenges and opportunities. But across most of the 5 HCT sites there was a higher turnover of people from the statutory sector, meaning that opportunities for learning and continuity can get lost. Looking ahead, local government and NHS restructuring will affect existing partnerships and networks further, so working out what this means for structures of togetherness is vital.